Friday, January 30, 2009

Be Grateful For What You Have

I flew into Chicago O'hare International Airport yesterday for my grandmother's funeral. I was feeling sad, depressed, and basically sorry for myself. I had lost more than a grandmother, I had essentially lost a replacement mother. Gram moved in with us January 1, 1973, the day after my mother was killed in a car accident.
Even though I had a right to be sad, I still hate when I pity myself. It is ok to reminisce, but no need to think woe is me.
I walked out to the taxi area and hailed a cab to take my to my sister's house. The driver seemed so nice, so I decided, to concentrate on someone else other than myself for a moment. I asked him how his day was. I think I must have a face that says "tell me anything you need to tell me, I will listen, and suggest a solution."
He proceeded to tell me how traffic at the airport is down so much that he is only making about three round trips a day to the airport. He used to do ten to twelve. People are not going out much and in turn he is not needed as much, which, equals less money. He has to work seven days a week from 5 am until 5 pm to try and support his family. He has a four year old son and an eight year old daughter. His wife went to work and they brought his mother out from Bulgaria six months ago to help with the kids and pay the bills. His mother's visa is up, she wants to go back, they have no one to help with the kids, they need the $1000 a month that she gives them to help with the bills, and finally, he told me he gets up at four am every morning to get to work. He is behind on his mortgage, and is sure they will foreclose on him.
I told him to explain to his mother how much her son and grandchildren needed her right now. Family is everything, and she will help. I told him if she came to help in the first place, she will stay to help until she is no longer needed. I told him he needs to work on getting her visa extended. He said he was. The saddest thing he told me was if he can't get her visa extended or she won't stay, him and his wife have to send their children to Bulgaria to live with family. They can't afford a roof over their head. He said it just keeps getting worse. The conversation went on. I tried to tell him to be positive, to take one day at a time, and to do everything in his power to keep his family together. I told him you can only do your best, no more, do not do less than your best and you will have no guilt and eventually it will fall into place.
We arrived at my sister's house. My fair was $17.60. I had $31.00 in my pocket, I gave it to him, I gave him a hug, and told him I will pray for him, and I will remember him.
I walked into my sister's gigantic, 6200 sq foot custom home, put my bag down, looked around, and thougt, "how dare you Heather feel sorry for yourself for one second!" No, I don't live like my sister, my sister has worked hard for all she has, but I don't have near the worries that this man has. I don't have to contemplate sending my children to another country because I can't take care of them. I believe the worst part for this man and woman is they have no control over the economy, they can't work any harder than they are, and they have no other skills than the menial jobs they are working.
It snapped me out of my woe is me attitude and threw me into an attitude of gratitude. I arrived at my grandmother's wake, walked in, and saw my beautiful grandmother resting in peace in her casket, probably watching from above with her ten siblings, my mother, and my grandfather, smiling down on me. At that moment I was thankful I had my grandmother for ninety five years and that she wasn't here worrying about the economy, and if she would be living on the streets. For most of my grandmother's life, she was that poor.
Please, be grateful for what you have. I am so grateful, but at the same time, sad for all the people in our country right now that are losing their homes, safety and security. It will change, in the meantime, if someone needs food, give them some food, if they need your smile, give them a smile, or a hug, or your ear to listen to them. We are here to help one another.

Heather Hogan
Can There Be More? www.amazon.com

1 comment:

  1. This was beautifully and well written. I am sure that you made that taxi driver's day. Sometimes people just need a listening ear, not judgement but someone who will be there and let them talk. You did an admirable thing today and he won't forget it too soon.

    Sounds like you have an ability to reach out to those who are hurting and a still small voice can make a difference.

    I wish you the best as you go through the motions and the days, weeks, and months of grieving the loss of your grandmother. She sounds like a wonderful person. Earth's loss is Heaven's gain and we have the wonderful and blessed reassurance of being reunited with friends and loved ones.

    Today is the third year anniversary of the death of my best friend's daughter. Brittany was only 15 and had a seizure. She lived more in her 15 years than some do in 50 or 60. She is gone but not forgotten--they remain in our hearts.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Make the best of this day and have a wonderful weekend. ~Gigi

    ReplyDelete