US Weekly Update

After browsing my daughter's US magazine and People magazine for a few months now, and feeling totally repulsed as I read 90% of the material, I have decided I will save you the cost of the two magazines weekly and give you an update on the rich and mostly ridiculous every Wednesday. We will start today with US weekly and People's update will be tomorrow.
Lil' Kim, who spent a year in jail for conspiracy and perjury after lying to a grand jury about her friends involvement in a 2001 shooting says she reads her Bible every day. I wonder what she was thinking when she placed her right hand on the Bible and "swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God."
I guess bloggers out there are a little upset that American Idol contestant Danny Gokey is getting too much air time about his deceased wife. He is twenty eight, he lost his wife to congenital heart defect just four weeks ago. The bloggers are suggesting his dead wife and the tears he has for her are keeping him in the competition not his vocals. Can we use the words ridiculous, possibly jealous, and completely insensitive for these bloggers. I guess it is ok to show other contestants father's in jail, ones being raised by single parents, ones with fabulous families, ones that are dirt poor, but when one loses his wife a month earlier he is supposed to not react? Lets see, he is living his dream, probably dedicating every thing to his deceased wife and is still mourning, but hell, save those tears.
It seems that Slumdog's ten year old star was slapped by his father in Mumbai for not standing up for a photographer who was promised pictures of his young son. The father was calmed down by a neighbor. I am hoping the neighbor slipped him a $5 dollar bill and told him to calm down.
At a cover shoot for Elle magazine Reese Witherspoon munched on double-chocolate cookies and then raved about them. I made brownies today, they are delicious. They were Pillsbury brand, I just added one egg, 3 tablespoons of water,and a 1/3 cup of oil. Down the road at the Glamour magazine cover shoot, Katie Holmes let them in on some family time fun. Her and Tom play the three little pigs with Suri. They all laugh and when a good song comes on Toms starts to dance. Here at my house, we play baseball. If you are on the losing team you get tackled. If I am on the winning team, I start to dance.
Kelly Clarkson spent $900 on clothing as LF in LA. I spent $135 yesterday at Food Maxx. I love bagging my groceries, I can unpack them so much quicker when I get home. Keith Richards let his girlfriend pick up their drink tab at Gansevoort in South Miami Beach. Whoo hoo!
Jodie Foster, at the age of forty six received a speeding ticket in Beverly Hills. If you don't believe US, it was actually caught on tape by TruTV's reality show, Speeders. I bet that show rocks!
Paris Hilton has a new boyfriend named Doug. According to a pal of the pair, "they are just having fun while it lasts. They have crazy sex. That's what it is based on." Her parents must be so proud of her and what she does with her inheritance from her hardworking grandfather.
It was reported that Jessica Simpson had four or five Bacardi and Diet Cokes, not Coke, but Diet Coke, after her February 26th concert. Wouldn't you have all those drinks knowing you have just been photographed again, this time in short shorts. She was preparing herself for which unflattering picture the rats would choose to hit newsstands next!
Finally, I am going to finish with Nadya Suleman. According to US magazine, she told Dr. Phil "reality has not set in yet." You mean to tell me when you were chasing six out of control, attention deprived children, while carrying eight in your belly, you didn't realize what was happening? Ok, moving on. Her plan for childcare involved a higher power. "He gives you the strength, and that's what I am planning." She appears to be delusional. I have to tell you Nadya, God also gave you free will, you chose this, you better find some help and fast.
She has not responded to Custom Kingdom's offer of a year's free clothing, for each of her kids. It equals about $500 a month. I have a suggestion to Custom Kingdom: Offer her $6000 in cash instead of clothing and she will respond.
She hesitated at an offer of free housing and 24/7 childcare from the nonprofit group Angels in Waiting. "Nadya asked if she could do a reality show on the premises, and I said no," says the groups attorney Gloria Allred. Again, offer her the amount of cash she would make from doing a reality show, and then she will move in and make sure her children get the 24/7 care that they need.
Hope you enjoyed a little break from the recession and reality!