At what point in a woman's life is her self-esteem and self-respect so damaged that as an adult, or even a teen, her self-worth is so far in the gutter, and heading fast to the drain, that she can be physically and mentally abused and go back to her abuser? Rihanna has proven that this is not a poverty problem. Oh, no, Rihanna, is beautiful, talented, rich in money and friends and family, but yet still sees herself as worthless and deserving of abuse.
I saw the picture of Rihanna's face after Chris Brown unleashed his inner beast on this young girl's flawless skin. I was shocked and horrified. How dare he! I said to myself, "She will not go back to him." Even after watching expert after expert on the Today Show predict that she very well might. I held out a vigil, that she would be strong enough and smart enough to realize the gift she is to the world, and realize her self-worth. I kept praying that she would be an example to girls all over the world that abuse suffered at the hands of one that supposedly loves you is not acceptable, forgiveable yes, but one should never go back.
If you have read my previous blog's I don't believe celebrities should be held up to moral standards that they cannot possibly achieve, simply because they are humans, and as humans we all make mistakes. I don't believe this incident falls into this category. Chris Brown didn't drink and drive nor did anyone get caught taking a bong hit or shave their head or even get in a bar fight. Chris Brown beat a woman! He bit her face, punched her and kicked her! It is disgraceful and sickening. Who does he think he is? He needs jail time, counseling, and to be humbled.
He is not humbled. He was photographed smiling while jet skiing in Miami. He contacted Rihanna on her birthday and they spoke. It looks like a reconciliation is in the future! Where are her parents? I believe Rihanna needs counseling. I have been outraged and I have used this case of abuse, egos, narcissism, and unlawful behavior as an example to my daughter of how insecurity and zero self-respect can turn a successful woman into a pitful example of whom you do not want to emulate.
I would hope Chris Brown can learn from this, and grow into an upstanding citizen, and one day husband and father. I don't believe that will happen if he gets off and Rihanna takes him back. This is not a case of losing it for a second in the heat of the moment. If you believe that, take a look at her face. This was a man filled with rage, anger, and zero self-control. Only a person with little or no empathy and compassion can unleash such a savage beating on the one he loves. He has problems. My sons have been warned, do not bring his music into this house, and my daughter has been told what a sorry state Rihanna's mind must be in to accept the beating she was given.
I will be the first in line to say give Chris Brown another chance if he shows true remorse, seeks help, and tries to educate boys about how to channel their anger and emotions when faced with a situation that they cannot control. The answer is not punching, kicking and biteing. If he can do those things, we will welcome him back to our ipods, cd players and radio stations. Until then stay out of my house.
I can only pray Rihanna wakes up and looks in the mirror, sees her reflection, and says to herself, "I am beautiful, talented and God gave me a gift. I don't deserve to be beat and demoralized. I deserve someone that loves me, respects me, and shows me what a wonderful creature I am through words, flowers, cards, and supportive action!"
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I am a professional counselor and I think they both need help. He should know better than to beat on her and I pity the person who wants to blame it on his environment or childhood. He should be man enough and mature enough to have a desire to break the viscious cycle. She isn't the typical battered woman who stays in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children or financial security. She can make it on her own without him. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but I'm sorry I will not have sympathy for someone who chooses to return to her abuser.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing on this sensitive issue because many girls are looking up to her and it's sad that this is what she is giving them to admire.
May God bless you!
I agree that he needs counseling (since he won't be getting jail time if she doesn't press charges... and rumor is, she's not going to). But she needs counseling just as much - to figure out why she values herself so little, that she's willing to accept that kind of treatment. What in her past has led her to the point where she is, successful, beautiful, talented... and yet so lonely and insecure?
ReplyDeleteI'm all for second chances - IF he shows remorse, gets counseling, and fixes whatever it is that's wrong with him that allowed him to do this to her. I just keep reminding myself that we don't know the whole story - maybe he IS remorseful? Maybe he IS seeking counseling? I'm sure there's more to it than we're being told by the press, but the message that she's sending to young girls frightens me. That it's okay for a man to do this to them, if you love them. Whether she chose it or not, girls look up to her, and she's sending them a message loud and clear. Good for you for using it as a teaching opportunity with your kids. I hope more parents will do the same.