Everyday we are met with choices. Choices are not always easy, nor are they supposed to be. As children we start out with having to choose the outfit we want to wear to school, and move on to having to choose our friends. From there we have to choose whether or not to cave into peer pressure and do what the rest of the crowd is doing or stand up for ourself and take a stand against what is wrong.
Some choose to go down the right path, while others willlingly choose to go down the wrong path. Some don't know which path to choose, they are unsure of themselves, and can't decipher between what is right and what is wrong. Even some choose the wrong side deciding they will just deal with the consequences later.
As parents we are meant to help guide our children to make the right choices. We are to love and nurture them while allowing them to become independent and skillful in their everyday decisions. This is not always easy. I believe that we can learn a lot about ourselves by the decisions we make. I always point out what was right or wrong with a decision my children make. By pointing out the differences between a great decision, or choice, and a wrong one we are giving the child the tools they need to decipher how to look at a situation, assess the situation, and choose the right path as they continue to grow in age and maturity. I try to never belittle my childrens choices. Instead, I help them learn from their decision.
As an adult, I continue at times to make bad choices. We are all humans, no one is perfect and we all have flaws. A bad choice can only harm you if you don't learn from that decision you made. As an adult, I no longer make decisions knowing the consequences are going to come back and bite me in the bum, but I do not feel I assess situations with total clearity at times. I am learning, growing, but I will never be perfect. I can only do my best, if you do your best then there should be no regrets.
The worst choices we seem to make come when we are under extreme stress from money and outside pressures. We have to learn to step back, take a deep breath, and look at the situation for what it is before we make a detrimental decision that will harm ourselves or others. I am thrity nine and I am still learning this!
I work with my children constantly about life lessons and how the choices they make can profoundly affect them and others. I want them to be able to make better choices than I have at times as an adult.
I can say this; all of my choices, as well as yours, are your own. Embrace them, if they were great choices, remember them, if they were bad choices, learn from them, and if you made a choice but could have made a better one remember that the next time the dilemma comes up. For choices and decisions never go away, they just hopefully get easier as you learn and grow in this crazy world!
About Me
- Heather Hogan
- I am an author. The title of my memoir is Can There Be More? and can be found at www.amazon.com. My book begins when I was 3 years old, my sister was 7, and my brother was 8 months old. My mother walked out the door one very cold New Year's Eve afternoon and never returned. On the way to the store my mother was killed in a car accident. My father put my sister and I each on a knee and told us we would never see our mother again. She was now in a place called heaven. We were put to bed crying , and so began my father's downward spiral into alcoholism. The only peace he ever found was in a bottle, it was the only way to numb his pain. We essentially lost both our parents that day, and gained a life full of tragedy, tragedy, anxiety, depression at times, inner turmoil, resentment, and non stop worry. The greatest gifts I have been given, and share in my book is good always comes out of bad, you can always find the angel in evil, life is beautiful, and if you just stop to smell the roses, and appreciate all you have been given, even if the hand you have been dealt makes you want to fold befor being shown the river cards, God's gifts are there waiting for you!
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