Choices.......

Everyday we are met with choices. Choices are not always easy, nor are they supposed to be. As children we start out with having to choose the outfit we want to wear to school, and move on to having to choose our friends. From there we have to choose whether or not to cave into peer pressure and do what the rest of the crowd is doing or stand up for ourself and take a stand against what is wrong.

Some choose to go down the right path, while others willlingly choose to go down the wrong path. Some don't know which path to choose, they are unsure of themselves, and can't decipher between what is right and what is wrong. Even some choose the wrong side deciding they will just deal with the consequences later.

As parents we are meant to help guide our children to make the right choices. We are to love and nurture them while allowing them to become independent and skillful in their everyday decisions. This is not always easy. I believe that we can learn a lot about ourselves by the decisions we make. I always point out what was right or wrong with a decision my children make. By pointing out the differences between a great decision, or choice, and a wrong one we are giving the child the tools they need to decipher how to look at a situation, assess the situation, and choose the right path as they continue to grow in age and maturity. I try to never belittle my childrens choices. Instead, I help them learn from their decision.

As an adult, I continue at times to make bad choices. We are all humans, no one is perfect and we all have flaws. A bad choice can only harm you if you don't learn from that decision you made. As an adult, I no longer make decisions knowing the consequences are going to come back and bite me in the bum, but I do not feel I assess situations with total clearity at times. I am learning, growing, but I will never be perfect. I can only do my best, if you do your best then there should be no regrets.

The worst choices we seem to make come when we are under extreme stress from money and outside pressures. We have to learn to step back, take a deep breath, and look at the situation for what it is before we make a detrimental decision that will harm ourselves or others. I am thrity nine and I am still learning this!

I work with my children constantly about life lessons and how the choices they make can profoundly affect them and others. I want them to be able to make better choices than I have at times as an adult.

I can say this; all of my choices, as well as yours, are your own. Embrace them, if they were great choices, remember them, if they were bad choices, learn from them, and if you made a choice but could have made a better one remember that the next time the dilemma comes up. For choices and decisions never go away, they just hopefully get easier as you learn and grow in this crazy world!

My First TV Appearance

I wanted to share my first TV interview with all my followers. Click on the link below!

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=view_from_the_bay/parenting_babies&id=6772404

I hope you enjoy!

Heather

I Was Wrong......

If you read my book you know that my father was an abuser. He was an alcoholic and abused me physically and mentally for years. I told many tales of what and who my father was in my book, and the hell he inflicted on my soul. But I also forgave my father, for my father did the best that he could do given his circumstances.I don't know how many men could have survived what he survived. I won't go into all of it, but he was emotionally tortured at the age of 29. The love of his life, my mother walked out the door on December 31, 1972 around 1:00 pm, in the afternoon, to run to the grocery store and never returned. He got the call that my mother was dead while watching his eight month old son crawl across the floor, my brother, and his two daughters laughing and playing. That would have been my sister and me. We were three and seven at the time.After going down to the hospital to ID his dead wife he had to come home and face his three babies. All of his friends gathered that evening, not to celebrate the New Year, but to help my father mourn. I was told I kept asking for my mother. Finally, with all of our friends and family watching my father put my sister and I each on one of his knees and told us we would never see our mother again.My father turned to alcohol. His drunk driving arrests in the last 35 years come in around 28. He is wanted in three different counties in Illinois for skipping out on bail and probation: Kane, Cook, and Lake.Over the last few years he has come and seen me, lived in Vegas, and simply annoyed me with his rants and raves. He is extremelly biiter, and angry that he lost my mother. He has never gotten over her, and at times still breaks down in tears when he mentions her name. The last year has been super tough with my father. I have moved past his abuse, but he still at time manipulates and demoralizes me. I just didn't have it in me to call him on Father's Day. It is the first one I have missed. I never stopped talking to my dad, I couldn't do that. I love my father. He is my dad, and like I said he did the best he could.My father was arrested in Indiana and extradited back to Illinois eight days ago. He is now sitting in Cook County Jail, and I am numb. Me, Heather, the one who always forgives, and knows how precious life is and what every day on this earth means, didn't call my father and now he sits in jail all alone and I am sure is crying, depressed, and suicidal. I don't think he will get out this time or see the light of day outside of Cook County Jail. I am ill. I will make it right. I will write to him, just like I do everytime he is in jail, I will apologize and I will cry. But it doesn't cancel my cruelty in my silence. How dare I be so cold! I am not perfect and he has tried to be a good father. I should have called!I am here to tell you, and I have said this before, forgive, love, cherish, nurture, and worship the ones you love, forget past mistakes, move on, live your life to the fullest, never take anyone for granted, and wake up every morning with kindness in your heart and compassion and empathy in your words!

Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

I will start with Farrah since she died first today. I was Jill Munroe for many of my young elementary years. My two girlfriends, Shawn and Vanessa, and I played Charlies Angels everyday. I was steadfast in my commitment to play the part of Jill Munroe.Oh yes, I had the feathered hair, and eventually tried to wear an orange one piece bathing suit. You know, the bathing suit that Farrah wore in the famous poster that every guy had pinned up in his bedroom. No one could be Farrah. When she married the six million dollar man I finally said to myself, "Heather, give it up!"She was sixty two years old and a huge part of my childhood, as well as, many of yours. Her longtime love Ryan O'Neal said he would marry her as soon as she had the strength to say yes. Well she never got enough strength to say yes before she passed. I want you to ponder that for a moment. They had an over twenty year love affair, at times turbulent and at times tender. What does this say to you? I am going to tell you what it says to me.It says, that we as humans are way to caught up in things that are so unimportant and we usually don't get our wake up call until it is too late.So wake up people, seize the moment, seize the day, it is your day today and everyday. It is up to you to wake up and scream, "I am alive, thank you God, and life is glorious." Ryan and Farrah didn't get their chance for their own utopia because of Hollywood and all the crap that comes along with it. I do also believe, in the end, Farrah got it. She truly realized what was precious. But I believe the real lessons here were learned by Ryan O'Neal. I believe he finally realized he had the love of his life in his grasp for half his life and let it slip away. Don't make the same mistake.Michael Jackson is the king of pop! I loved Michael Jackson growing up and still listent to Black and White, Billie Jean, and Thriller on my ipod. I was on the stairclimber listening to Madonna when the news broke about Michael. Right then my Madonna song ended and Michael's song Billie Jean began. I shed a tear and thought about his children.I don't want to hear he is a molester, a freak, or a sicko. He had demons in his closet that most of us couldn't have handled. He didn't handle them well at times, but he tried! He tried to be normal in his abnormal world and eventually he gave up. He eventually became as scary to us as his world was to him. I think he was scared.Do you know that he weighed 110 pounds at five feet ten inches? Why? He had issues. I don't think we will ever know if he molested those kids because their parents took a pay off to stop the trial. What does that tell you about the parents and the allegations? I can tell you if Michael Jackson truly molested my children I would never have let him off to collect money!He was fifty years old and on the brink of a world tour. I would have loved to see him perform again. No one can dance like Michael. No one can perform like Michael and Michael is gone. I am sad to see him go. I don't know why people say such horrible things about others on the day they died. It is strange to me to celebrate the death of someone when their loved ones are mourning their loss. I think the world has forgotten what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is the essence of life. Without forgiveness you don't have love and if you don't have love in your heart you are not living you are existing! So, Michael you will be missed. I loved your energy, your dancing and your fight to fit into a world that you couldn't quite fit into. You did the best that you could do with the tools you were given. I pray you took your lessons with you when you took your last breath and left the pain behind.Now, on a happy note, Shaq is going to Cleveland! How excited are we? LeBron and Shaq! I am ready for the NBA to start!

Deportation

I watched the movie "Crossing Over" two nights ago. It stars Harrison Ford and others. Harrison Ford's character is an immigration police officer. They show him and his squad raiding sweat shops in LA and busting illegal immigrants all over Los Angeles.I never knew how the immigration system worked here in the United States nor did I know anything about a six month visa, extending your visa, and what can happen to you if you are busted for illegally living in the United States of America. I know since 9/11 laws have been changed, some for the worse, and some for the better. My girlfriend and I have been argueing about a part of the movie. In the movie a fifteen year muslim girl gives a speech to her high school class defending the 9/11 suicide bombers. She basically says that the bombers and Bin Laden, needed to get their message heard and this the way they had to go about it. She pointed out that after our own planes crashed into our own buildings their voices, the suicide bombers and Bin Laden's, were heard. I thought to myself, "Hmm, I still don't know what message Bin Laden was trying to get us to hear. I was too busy mourning for the lives lost, the devastation of being attacked on our own soil, and crying for the famililes that were left to mourn their loved ones."Any message that I was supposed to hear, if I wasn't so busy being outraged and sad, would have fallen on deaf ears because who in their right mind could kill so many innocent people to make a point? Only a psycho, and I don't want to hear what a psycho says.The girl in the movie went on in her speech to basically say Americans are ignorant. The principle reported her to the FBI who sent immigration officers to her house. Her room was searched and her computer was picked apart. They found several sites she visited pertaining to suicide bombers and other sites that were sympathetic to terrorists.In the end, immigration deported her and her mother, both whom were residing in California illegally, and allowed her father and her two siblings who were citizens of the United States to stay. The siblings were born here. As this fifteen year old girl was boarding the plane to be deported back to her country I was cheering the TV. My friend thinks this was terrible. I am all for allowing any person from any country into the United States of America if they are here legally and are not sympathetic to terrorists and their cause! Was I wrong guys? Should she have been allowed to stay? Yes, this was a movie, but these things happen. Unfortunately, the Patriot Act has opened up peoples lives to be studied like an open book for our government. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I believe it is both! I believe the system is flawed. But I also believe the system works. Any insight?

If I Had To Do It All Over Again...Job choice 2

This job requires travel, at times to exotic locations, and dark alleys. I will dress in super sexy black clothing while scaling the outside of the SIS building also known as the M16 building aka the British Secret Intelligence Service headquarters.
Once I get in the building I will slink down dark corridors looking for the office of the head of the British Intelligence. Once I come upon it, I will use his finger, the head of the British Intelligence, on the pad that requires an exact match of his finger print that I cut off of him after a long interrogation on how to get into his office and where the chip I need is located.
Once in his office I realize I tripped a secret blue ray light that beams every one and half seconds. Only you don't see the blue ray light, it is actually a mist. Once I realize I have tripped the secret alarm I check the monitors in his office and realize I have less than three minutes until security arrives.
After finding his laptop I tear the keyboard in half with my tool that was given to me by a specialist at Langley; it is known as the "tool that tears off key boards in the M16 Building." Once I find the chip I plan my exit. Darn it, the helicopters have arrived. This makes a quick exit off the roof with my super long rope attached to a bow and arrow with a suction cup on the end of the arrow to stick to the glass of the building adjacent to the SIS impossible.
After realizing the enemy have swormed the elevators and the stairs I decide I must cut a hole in the glass of the window with my torch which is stored in one of my many pockets of my super sexy black low rider pants. Actually, the seam between the top of the zipper and the bottom of the zipper is five inches, that leaves room for a kick butt looking belt that I can carry other tools on from the speciallist at Langley.
Once I have torched a hole in the window, just big enough for me to squeeze threw, I throw my head out of the hole to check out how to get down the 25 floors I am up. Just then, bullets come at me from the helicopter that has just shown itself above the adjacent building. Thank God for bullet proof glass in the M16 building!
I decide I must do a running jump outside of the office window hole. I back up outside the office. I check out my adorable black hat I am wearing in my reflection from the glass window on the door. I give myself my best smile and then start my sprint to the window.
I dive through the window. I have a gun in each hand. I took the mandatory gymnastics class at Langley, so while flying through the air I do a few cartwheels while taking out the snipers in the helicopters. I then shoot my arrow gun against the outside of the building and slam into the window on the second floor. I am a bit shook up, but I unsnap myself from the rope that I was hooked on and fall the two stories and land on my feet.
I then run two blocks east and take a left, then I run one block north take a right and three blocks south and jump into the waiting van. When I get in the white van I scream, "GO GO GO GO."
I am driven through some very windy roads over looking cliffs with jagged rocks underneath and waves crashing on those rocks. The full moon illuminates the water perfectly. We drive through a tunnel come out the other side and press the button and wait for the door to open on the side of the mountain.
We pull in and I jump out. I hand the man in the very expensive Italian suit the chip. I pull my hat off, shake my hair out, apply my lipgloss. straighten out my shirt, throw my belt off to the side, change my boots to heels, and tell them, "Mission is complete, you know where you can find me."
You got it, I would love to be a secret agent! How hot would that be. I would love every minute of it.

If I Had To Do It All Over Again

If you could do it all over again would you change anything? Would you change one or two things?Would you go to a different college, marry a different spouse, have kids sooner or later or really be smart and not have any kids and just travel? That last example was a joke!
I have pondered this question before. You probably think I was pondering this question while sitting in a canoe in the middle of a peaceful lake while Mark was rowing and smiling at me while confessing his love! Not! It usually comes when the kids are screaming, Mark and I are disagreeing over something stupid, or I am dropping off my kids in the carpool lane I have waited for ten minutes to get to the front and realize the mother two cars ahead of me has gotten out of her, zipped up Johny's jacket, kissed him ten times, checked his lunch, combed his hair, gave him another hug, and did one more homework check. This is usually when my kids say, "Mom, please don't say anything, you will embarass us. Mom, please just roll up your window, we right on time." I reluctantly shut my mouth even though I want to scream out the window, "Listen dumb shit this is a drop off lane, your kid gets out, you stay in and drive off." I never do, for I know if I do the battle of the words will ensue and God forbid I don't get the last word in.
So, anyway, I believe you all know what I am going to say. I wouldn't change a thing. I would go through every thing I have gone through all over again because it made me who I am today. I am proud of myself, I love myself, and I respect myself. I do feel I am strong and I know there are very few situations you could put me in that I wouldn't come out of rockin' and rollin'. I am not bragging, I just feel it took me a long time to get here, I worked for what I am and who I am, why would I change it?
I hope you all say the same thing. I hope you all love yourselves and realize what powerful, strong, smart, beautiful, kind, generous, empathetic and loving individuals you are. If you don't realize that yet, it is only because someone did a number on you and you still haven't gotten their number. One day you will come out of the fog to see the light and realize who you are. We are all the same. No one is better and no one is worse. We just all get to our desinations at different times. I believe the ones that haven't arrived at the arrival gate will get there as long as they keep hope and faith alive.
I love writing. I love writing books, blogs and articles. It is my passion and something I will do forever and hopefully I can support my family doing it. BUT if I HAD to do it all over again, and my path called for a different map, there are three careers that I would choose to explore. One will shock you, one will not surprise you and the other one will just make you think, "Yea, that's Heather."
The one that will not surprise you is a doctor. Well maybe that surprised you! If you ever watched a horror movie with me and saw me scream and almost faint at the sight of blood it would surprise you. I cannot even watch my kids get shots, but doctors fascinate me.
Doctors are brilliant, talented, hard workers, and they change peoples lives and their moral. I cannot even imagine having the ability to look at my patient before surgery and tell them I will save their life. I cannot imagine having the control and ability to help people live, to cure them, to mend them, to heal them and to shower them with my happiness and show them gratitude for putting their life in my hands.
And yes of course, the hospital looks like a fun place to work. There is always action, drama, fights between nurses and doctors and doctors and nurses stemming from arguments over diagnoses, theories, and which medicines to prescribe. I am sure their are some great sex situations going on also. Sorry, had to throw that in. Movies, I know!
A doctor gives up a lot of time and herself. Their family comes second, that would be hard, but you are doing a job for the greater good of mankind, how awesome! I know that I would be the doctor that made a ton of money and then I would off to the jungles in Peru or the plains of Africa to cure the sick and needy with a team of specialist to help. I would work to help the under priviledged for as long as I could.
There are so many sick people in Third World Country's that die horrible deaths that could be prevented. If I had the means and the capability that is what I would do. I guess maybe when I die if I am to be reincarnated and I could choose my next life I would choose to be a doctor and humanitarian!
I don't have time to write to the other two professions that I would like to experience if I lived a different life right now. The kids are all at the park, it is 8:06, one friend has to be home @ 8:15 and the five others have to get in and take showers!