My book on how to save marriages, the title is not set yet, will be released in late 2009 or early 2010. The book has great insight on how to keep you out of divorce court. I sent a questionnaire to 100 women I don't know asking them all the same ten questions. Their answers were insightful, thought provoking, spot on, and wise. The women have been married from nine months to thirty two years. The greatest part of this book is that the advice you will be given is not coming from a man who is a doctor or a woman who is unrealistic in some of her assessments, no, this advice is coming from women just like you: soccer moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms, stressed mothers, over worked mothers, under appreciated moms and wives, who are doing the best they can do to keep their marriages alive, sexy, going until death do them part from their mates, interesting, fun and lively! Not an easy task. This book has helped my relationship in the past six months so many times. I am very excited for you all to get a chance to help your own relationships through others like yourselves. Lets not forget me. I am number 101. Yep, you get my advice too!
What am I going to do now is take one of the very important elements that came up again and again on how these women make their marriages work and discuss it in detail with fifteen women that you do not know. We will be talking about SEX! It seems sex is a vital part of any marriage.
I will interview these women and blog about it. You will not know their names, only the state they live in, the age of the woman, how long she has been married, and if she is happily married. I have a feeling her sex life will directly correlate with how happy she is in her marriage.
Before anyone decides to comment that it takes more than sex to have a happy marriage you need to know, I know that! I wrote a book on this. I am taking one aspect, sex, which seems to be huge to both partners, and analyzing it first.
We need to save marriages to save children from divorce. Again, there are so many aspects to marriage that need to be discussed but we are starting with sex.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Swingers...why?
If you are a swinger and you are offended by my blog, I guess I apologize. The art of swinging fell into my very suburban lap about two years ago. If you don't know what swinging is, I will tell you. It is where a supposedly very happy, normal couple decide swapping partners with another couple for sex is a great idea. Supposedly, these people, are secure in themselves and their life. I should not judge, but I have not figured out why watching your wife or husband sleep with another person in front of you is a moral and sound act to participate in.
Mark, my boyfriend of four years, and I were out in San Francisco about two years ago when we were first approached. We met a lovely couple at an upscale establishment and started talking. They had four kids, two dogs, and the picket fence. They invited us to their room for a drink. The bar we were in was located in the hotel they were staying in. We said sure.
We went up to their room and started talking about kids, Mark and I have five between the two of us, dog training, business, and then before I knew it I was being asked if I would like to have sex with the man in the room by his wife. The other part of the deal was my very hunk of an Australian boyfriend, and I mean Mark is hot, would have sex with his wife. I immediately grabbed my drink, started smelling if for some sort of odor that would tell me I have just been drugged into complacency with this absurd and looney couple. I smelt nothing. I didn't take chances though, instead I opted for a glass of water out of the tap that I went and retrieved for myself. Mark about jumped out of his skin when he was innocently going to take a sip of his drink and I screamed "NO!"
Of course I politely refused. The good news was they accepted our decline to their invitation with grace and ease. The curious side of me once again got the best of me. Mark wanted to split and I wanted to interview them. I asked them question after question, trying to figure out why this would be a good idea. You would have thought I was writing an article for the San Francisco Chronicle.
After my forty five minute interrogation I walked away with some answers. I asked questions like, why would you want to watch the person you love have sex with another person? The answer was, sex is just sex. It means nothing more than arousing a person's body. I thought, "wow." I explained that sex to me is the most personal, and intimate act that you can do with another human being. You cannot get any closer to another person, than sex. I truly believe, there is some serious insecurities in these people's characteristics that would cause them to want to play such a game.
I won't go into all the questions, but what it came down to really, was a load of crap. I did find out by the end of the conversation the wife was just going along with this to please the husband. I told her in front of this man,"this is the most absurd and ridiculous role that you are coerced into playing as the wife. It is not your duty as a wife to have sex with other men, and for your husband to have sex with other women in front of you. If you are only doing it for your husband you will suffer great consequences later on mentally, and possibly physically at one point." After that statement we were asked to leave.
Over the last two years Mark and I have been propositioned about eight times. Each time, I leave that couple feeling sad for their need to fulfill something that is missing in them and their marriage with such a dirty deed. I am sure they have excuses, and claim this makes them happier. I would ask whom does make it happier? Both of them or one of them? I would dig deep down in my psyche to figure out what I am missing in my life to play a game that could end up detrimental to my family and myself.
Fast forward to two nights ago, Friday the 13th! A couple we have known for four years, our sons play baseball together, and we have had family get togethers, and plenty of good old fashioned fun, invited us to their hotel room they checked into to celebrate Valentine's Day. They had to do have their celebration on Friday night instead of Saturday due to kids schedules. We said sure we would love to join you for a drink, first in your room, and then the lobby bar.
I am going to get straight to the point. We walk in and porn is playing on the tv. Ok, weird! I know these people, there is no way I could have misjudged. Next they ask us to play cards. Sure, we love cards. We play gin rummy. My girlfriend wins, we then realize we are playing truth or dare gin rummy. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, yes porn is still playing, Mark follows me, we plan our escape, come out to say good-bye and my girlfriend is performing a sexual act on her husband. We leave.
Tell me, how do I act when I see them at little league, or a church function, or the grocery store, or at the school carnival? I came home, the first thing I did was start laughing hysterically for about ten minutes. Mark was in shock! I said honey, "either we exude sexual promiscuity or we appear to be very naive."
What a weird and strange world we live in. I hope I am not becoming the minority, and the swingers are the majority!
Mark, my boyfriend of four years, and I were out in San Francisco about two years ago when we were first approached. We met a lovely couple at an upscale establishment and started talking. They had four kids, two dogs, and the picket fence. They invited us to their room for a drink. The bar we were in was located in the hotel they were staying in. We said sure.
We went up to their room and started talking about kids, Mark and I have five between the two of us, dog training, business, and then before I knew it I was being asked if I would like to have sex with the man in the room by his wife. The other part of the deal was my very hunk of an Australian boyfriend, and I mean Mark is hot, would have sex with his wife. I immediately grabbed my drink, started smelling if for some sort of odor that would tell me I have just been drugged into complacency with this absurd and looney couple. I smelt nothing. I didn't take chances though, instead I opted for a glass of water out of the tap that I went and retrieved for myself. Mark about jumped out of his skin when he was innocently going to take a sip of his drink and I screamed "NO!"
Of course I politely refused. The good news was they accepted our decline to their invitation with grace and ease. The curious side of me once again got the best of me. Mark wanted to split and I wanted to interview them. I asked them question after question, trying to figure out why this would be a good idea. You would have thought I was writing an article for the San Francisco Chronicle.
After my forty five minute interrogation I walked away with some answers. I asked questions like, why would you want to watch the person you love have sex with another person? The answer was, sex is just sex. It means nothing more than arousing a person's body. I thought, "wow." I explained that sex to me is the most personal, and intimate act that you can do with another human being. You cannot get any closer to another person, than sex. I truly believe, there is some serious insecurities in these people's characteristics that would cause them to want to play such a game.
I won't go into all the questions, but what it came down to really, was a load of crap. I did find out by the end of the conversation the wife was just going along with this to please the husband. I told her in front of this man,"this is the most absurd and ridiculous role that you are coerced into playing as the wife. It is not your duty as a wife to have sex with other men, and for your husband to have sex with other women in front of you. If you are only doing it for your husband you will suffer great consequences later on mentally, and possibly physically at one point." After that statement we were asked to leave.
Over the last two years Mark and I have been propositioned about eight times. Each time, I leave that couple feeling sad for their need to fulfill something that is missing in them and their marriage with such a dirty deed. I am sure they have excuses, and claim this makes them happier. I would ask whom does make it happier? Both of them or one of them? I would dig deep down in my psyche to figure out what I am missing in my life to play a game that could end up detrimental to my family and myself.
Fast forward to two nights ago, Friday the 13th! A couple we have known for four years, our sons play baseball together, and we have had family get togethers, and plenty of good old fashioned fun, invited us to their hotel room they checked into to celebrate Valentine's Day. They had to do have their celebration on Friday night instead of Saturday due to kids schedules. We said sure we would love to join you for a drink, first in your room, and then the lobby bar.
I am going to get straight to the point. We walk in and porn is playing on the tv. Ok, weird! I know these people, there is no way I could have misjudged. Next they ask us to play cards. Sure, we love cards. We play gin rummy. My girlfriend wins, we then realize we are playing truth or dare gin rummy. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, yes porn is still playing, Mark follows me, we plan our escape, come out to say good-bye and my girlfriend is performing a sexual act on her husband. We leave.
Tell me, how do I act when I see them at little league, or a church function, or the grocery store, or at the school carnival? I came home, the first thing I did was start laughing hysterically for about ten minutes. Mark was in shock! I said honey, "either we exude sexual promiscuity or we appear to be very naive."
What a weird and strange world we live in. I hope I am not becoming the minority, and the swingers are the majority!
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