Gossip....Here to Stay

I think we all agree gossiping can be a destructive and brutal session of throwing others under the moving bus. Gossiping is also calming and brings people together. I believe there is a lot of brain activity happening while people are discussing, dissing and talking about other peoples lives that would show up on a scan or xray .
We have established the fact that gossiping can be detrimental, yet, we love to do it, mainly for one reason: it makes us feel better about ourselves. Lets say, you are going through a divorce, you feel like the whole community is talking about you, your kids are out of control, so what better way to make yourself feel better than to say, "Did you know Sally Smith had an affair with John Doe and that is why they are divorcing? Oh, and did you see Sally's daughter looking like a little tramp down at Starbuck's?" That screams, "I am a good example of divorce, my children are out of control but at least there was no affair involved in my problems,and my daughter is not wearing black eyeliner and a mini skirt!"
Here is another problem. Everyone gossips. Yet, when they are being the one gossiped about they scream, "Time-out, no fair." Really, so a person can talk about everyone else's lives, make their own assumptions, spread those assumptions, but when the tables are turned they become noble and disgusted! That my friends is hypocrisy in its best form!
How do we distinguish gossip, which I believe can be defined as a rumor that makes it way down the suburban pipeline to become gossip, and truth? Is truth only truth when you confront the person you are hearing a rumor about with the holy bible, and ask them to place their right hand on the book and swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help them God? What if they don't even believe in God? The bottom line is, it is none of our business!
The funny part is I already know to mind my own business, as does every other adult in this world. Yet, we never do, and most likely never will. I believe we teach our children that gossip is fun and acceptable. Think about it, you tell your children not to gossip, it is bad, it is hurtful, yet, that night you host bunko, and your children see a bunch of women playing a game and gossiping as if tomorrow will not come and they won't be able to spew the latest load of crap or truth that they have recently heard. How many times have you been on the phone gossiping or spreading truths and little Billy or Annie have been standing there waiting to ask you a question while you are pointing your finger at them and gritting your teeth and saying, "Hold on! I am busy! I will be right with you." In reality, you are busy hearing, "Jane, yay, she did get botox. You should see her. Her husband was seen with his receptionist at happy hour." While cutting up the apple for Billy and Annie they hear you say, "I knew it. That husband is such a rat. I think that Jane also got breast implants not just botox. Now we know why, to keep her husband away from the receptionist."
Off walk Annie and Billy to the neighbors house to gossip about Judy's mom and dad, Jane and Bill! We read gossip magazines, watch shows that do nothing but gossip, Desperate Housewives, and gossip ourselves. Where does it end? It doesn't! It will not end. As much as we want to say we will stop gossiping, it is nearly impossible.
What is facebook? That is nothing more than gossip central for adults around the world. People check their site ten times a day to see what others are doing and saying! Can you say the word, scary? I can tell you what time my neighbor had coffee, and with whom and at what Starbuck's any day of the week.
What I am vowing to do is choose three people whom I will discuss whatever I want to discuss with them and only them. I will try my hardest to never harm a persons reputation, spread lies or truths, and will try to be an example to my children so they do the same. I will talk to my sister in Chicago who knows no one in California, my best friend Whitney in Texas who knows no one in California, and Candis in Denver who knows no one in California. If you don't have friends spread out all over the fifty states I suggest going to volunteer at a nursing home and telling the crap you hear to the ladies there that are missing coffee and gossip dates. Don't worry it won't get back to your town.
I believe we all have to look within and realize we are not perfect, nor is the lady next door or down the street. We all make different choices, and do the best we can do. Who are we to judge others? We don't have that right. Again, I don't believe it will stop. But if we at least become conscious of what we are doing maybe, just maybe, we can begin to cool off the phone lines and eventually be there for each other instead of ripping one another!