US Weekly Issue 745

I have not done one of my US blogs in awhile. I decided this Sunday morning was a good morning to blog about the weird and wacky stars!
It seems Kiefer Sutherland head butted a fashion designer named Jack who supposedly pushed Brooke Shields at an event. Brooke in so many words, said, "Kiefer must have been drunk again, he is out of his Jack Bauer mind, and he must be missing jail because I was never pushed." Normally, Kiefer Sutherland, aka Jack Bauer, is off limits to me, but this season of 24 is very disappointing. Get over your biological weapon exposure for crying out loud and return to the field to kick butt and abuse witnesses. That is the only reason I watch the show!
I won't comment on Americal Idol. I have never watched a season, only an episode or two at a time. I can say the women on that show are annoying, bothersome, and Kara DioGuardi's ego has seemed to take over the judges panel one singer at a time.
This is quite gross. Shia Labeouf said, "If I could meet my mother and marry her I would. I would be with my mother now, if she wasn't my mother, as sick as it sounds." The only sound I hear right now is his manager and publicist hitting the floor after they read this and pass out. I would say that is really sick, and a bit disturbing.
Lindsay Lohan says she has been eating enough. If you are an infant. This qoute should tell you never give up on your dreams, for they will come knocking on your door when you least expect it. The star of Twilight Robert Pattinson said, "I was kind of bumming around, not feeling particularly good at anything, thinking, you'll never reach the goals you set for yourself." The next thing he knew he became an International star!
Orlando Bloom and his girlfriend Mirand Kerr were argueing at Minetta Tavern in NYC. That is so sad! This is exciting, Matthew Broderick bought pasta at an NYC Gourmet Garage. I wonder what this garage looks like? Jerry Rice likes beef fried rice. I prefer shrimp fried rice. What do you like?
The Reverend Run's son Joseph Simmons Jr, was arrested for marijuana possession and resisting arrest. He is 19. He skipped a few Sunday services, for sure!
The big new is the Gosselin's from the Jon and Kate plus eight are seriously considering separation. I would be too if my husband was photographed with a twenty three year old third grade teacher at 2 am exiting a club. The really "wow how stupid are you Jon" is the photograph of the twenty three year old sunbathing in a bikini in the couples backyard while Kate is away on a book tour. I don't watch the show, I hear she is a real bitch, but come on! Grow up Jon. Is anyone wondering what went wrong in this twenty three year olds life that she would want to be with a reality TV star that has eight kids and a bitchy wife? I am! I do have some advice for Kate; she has to change the hairdo. I am sorry guys, but a bob look in the front of your hair with spikes in the back is not a happening hairdo. I kind of wonder if the stylist forgot what haircut they were cutting!
Jessica Simpson has worn the same Daisy Duke cut off shorts for about five years now. 71% of people would like her to retire them. What they don't say is, "You can keep wearing them if you get back to a size 2. Right now your size 6 or 8 isn't working in the Daisy Dukes."
Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow broke up because she was getting older and wanted children and Lance wasn't ready. Okay, cool. Megan Fox week after week seems like a real true black haired bimbo, that needs to really concentrate on what is going to come out of her mouth. She is a true bi-sexual. She doesn't want to use SAT words like Scarlett Johansson to prove she is smart. She resents the fact that she has to prove that she is not a retard. Nice choice of words Megan, retard was definitely not on the SAT's.
Spring's hottest sandals are the wedges, the flats, and the heels. Those would be the same ones that are hot every spring. Actually, there are really no other type of sandals. It appears ladies you can't go wrong with whatever type of sandal you choose!
The long tank top is hot this trendy in Hollywood. You can pay anywhere from $57 to $112, or go to Target and pay $12, since this is just a trend. The party ponytail is in. Don't ask. Also,you can choose the one-sided sweep or the casual updo. I swear they make this crap up. Also, you can go for the girlish glo. Basically pink make-up. Next week it will be called the "the spring appeal" or "fabulously flushed."