Thursday, April 30, 2009

Sex Survey....Participant Number 2

My next participant is from the Midwest. She has been married thirteen years. Her and her husband have four children.
How many times a week do you have sex?We have not had sex in a year.
Was the sex satisfying when you had it?No
Do you feel comfortable asking your spouse to try new things?I would feel more comfortable now than earlier. I guess I feel feel more comfortable due to maturity.
Would you consider having an affair or ending your marriage over sex?Not now, in the past I did. The quality and quantity used to bother me about sex. But it doesn't right now. My husband and I are focused on our four children and making our family work.
Do you think your spouse knows that you are not satisfied sexually?Yes, it's obvious. We both know it. But family is more important right now. We have a lot of love in our marriage.
Do you fantasize or wish you could find sexual satisfaction elsewhere?Not anymore. I used to wish I could have another partner for sex. I would fantasize about another man while masturbating if there was another man to fantasize about. Right now there is no good men for me to think about.
At the end of our chat this is what she had to say. "You can't build a marriage on just sex. I have learned that there is a strong connection and love between my husband and I. We respect each other, and when we stand united we can get through anything. We have so much more to our marriage than just sex."
Okay, if I didn't talk to her in depth for awhile I would believe one of them would end up in a deep dark affair. In my brain, I can't go without sex. But talking to this woman it is clear she loves her husband and family more than anything. She has truly come to peace with sex and her marriage. She loves her husband, is committed to him and will continue to make it work.
I will compare all fifteen participants answers at the end and make my own assumptions, as well as you should, but this couple seems to be doing fine without sex.

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